THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer!
That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!


10. Do you know
why you pulled me over?
Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.
That's how far ahead of me they are
12. When the Officer says "Gee.
Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"
You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have
you been eating doughnuts?"



Now....to add to it....I have to tell you this TRUE story that happened to us.Back in the mid 1990's my wife and i were headed up north for a one day vacation. My wife said she was hungry for some donuts. There were no "donut shops" on the way, so we stopped in a little gas station convienience store. There were TWO police cars in the parking lot. Now...... as you guys already know.....i'm a REAL wise guy, and when we walked in the door i could NOT resist. This is NO lie, the 2 cops were STANDING BY THE DONUT DISPLAY!!! I turned to my wife, who was right behind me and said at the top of my lungs......."See honey? I TOLD you that if you wanted donuts all we had to do was look for where the police cars were parked!!!" Both cops turned and looked at me, and they were NOT amused! NO smile from either of them! My wife of course pretended to not know me!!! I of course could NOT stop laughing!!! When we left I made SURE to drive VERY slowly! All I kept hearing from my wife was "I can't BELIEVE you DID that!" Which of course just made me laugh even more!!! I thought for SURE the cops were gonna follow me and pull me over for SOMETHING, but they didn't. I guess they would have had to leave the donut display, and figured it wasn't worth it!

So did you get your donuts? LOL

"IronMan"So did you get your donuts? LOL

My wife wouldn't go NEAR them......so she told me what kind she wanted, and I had to go over there and get them!!!LOL!
You should have seen the GLARE those cops gave me!
(Hmmmm.........I don't know if that was because of my comment, or because I was taking some of "their" donuts!!!) :thumbleft:

Add one to the list Cheesey.
My dad is driving my brother and I back to Wisconsin from D.C. to visit our family.
He gets pulled over flying low just south of Chicago.
While the cop is writing the citation, my dad pops off, "Why aren't you out catching criminals instead of hanging tickets on us taxpayers?"
The officer tears off the ticket from his book, holds it at shoulder height, and calmly replies; "Well, sir, if you prefer, we can all go down to the station house and you can fill out a statement to that effect."
My dad (sqeamishly) replied; "No, officer, that will not be necessary."
After we pulled out, my dad was the first to laugh.
We all did.
Good one, cop, wherever you are!
:thumbleft:

"dfosterf"Add one to the list Cheesey.
My dad is driving my brother and I back to Wisconsin from D.C. to visit our family.
He gets pulled over flying low just south of Chicago.
While the cop is writing the citation, my dad pops off, "Why aren't you out catching criminals instead of hanging tickets on us taxpayers?"
The officer tears off the ticket from his book, holds it at shoulder height, and calmly replies; "Well, sir, if you prefer, we can all go down to the station house and you can fill out a statement to that effect."
My dad (sqeamishly) replied; "No, officer, that will not be necessary."
After we pulled out, my dad was the first to laugh.
We all did.
Good one, cop, wherever you are!
:thumbleft:

LOL!
Wow......thats funny!

Did anyone see the comedian on TV who told a true story of what happened to him? (He's a rather LARGE man) Anyway......he told of how he picked up a dozen donuts at the "Krispy Kreme", and while pulling out turned left on a "right turn only" exit. The cop saw him, and pulled him over. He said he COULDN'T resist when the cop asked him "Do you know why I pulled you over?" He replied, pointing to the box of fresh donuts, "Cause you could smell THESE???"
The cop let him go!!!

"Cheesey"5. Are You Andy or Barney?
10. Do you know
why you pulled me over?
Okay, just so one of us does.

Do you know how bad I've wanted to say those?

"vegOmatic"

"Cheesey"5. Are You Andy or Barney?
10. Do you know
why you pulled me over?
Okay, just so one of us does.

Do you know how bad I've wanted to say those?

Every time i drive through a small town and see the cop on the side of the road, i yell out "Nip it! Nip it in the bud!!!" :thumbleft: