A Texas football coach's monkey bit a child and started the strangest sports story of the year

If you’ve spent any kind of time on the internet in the last 24 hours you’ve likely to see some phrases floating around that are utterly mystifying when put together: Monkey bite, special teams coach, and “Pole Assassin.” It’s like a word cloud from a piece of Harry Potter fanfic. Instead it’s one of the most bizarre and confounding sports stories of the year, that keeps getting weirder with every layer of the onion you peel back.

It should be noted that at this point everything in this surreal scenario has been unearthed by internet sleuthing. Without any official statement at this time, everyone is just trying to piece this together.

Gosh can you imagine being the Texas head coach or a member of their athletic department, trying to figure this out and talk to the media about it?

Gate is not a suffix. Try.

Zero2Cool;443822Gate is not a suffix. Try.

While Thomas deleted her Twitter account in the wake of “MonkeyGate,” the video was saved and reposted by those who saw it.

#MonkeyGate - Twitter Search/Twitter

Also, the story has multiple gates being mentioned. The ruling on the field stands, Zero2Cool is charged his last timeout of this half and has one challenge remaining.

Nope. This has been discussed numerous times. Gate is not a suffix. The journalists using it are admitting to being lazy. You know this. Be better. Stop monkeying around.

The last time I heard the words "monkey bite" was when one of the cute girls I worked with at the fast food joint came in with hickeys on her neck after a date with her boyfriend. Either she or the boss used the term. I forget which one started it. IIRC, it was a fairly frequent occurrence.

wpr;443825The last time I heard the words "monkey bite" was when one of the cute girls I worked with at the fast food joint came in with hickeys on her neck after a date with her boyfriend. Either she or the boss used the term. I forget which one started it. IIRC, it was a fairly frequent occurrence.

Ever since seeing Friends, I've wanted a monkey like the one Ross had.

Ha, ha, ha, TeXas lost again yesterday!!!