Many of these are Cheesey-isms but oh well.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I have too many so I will try and do 2 a day.


I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.




Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

"I'm a relatively respectable citizen. Multiple felon perhaps, but certainly not dangerous."
— Hunter S. Thompson

"For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled."
-Hunter S. Thompson

Isn't that the truth?

Brandon said this quote from Paul Bowles in his last interview before fatally being wounded in the abdomen by a gunshot in The Crow.

Brandon LeeBecause we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.

The Crow is one of my favorite movies. Bruce and Brandon both were two of my favorite actors.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.






Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

wpr;181280We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.






Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

2nd one funny.
The first one is a good thing.
Pizza good.
Cops at my house bad.

zombieslayer;1813002nd one funny.
The first one is a good thing.
Pizza good.
Cops at my house bad.

Yeah the first one is not very funny.
Just seems all too true in some places. However consider- Cops not getting to the house in a timely manner, worse.

You can find some 'funny' one liners HERE if you'd like.