You can tell a woman to shut the fuck up in the most loving way possible. :D

Hey, whatever trips her, ahem, trigger.

if (God forbid) your relationship starts to fall apart, rest assured that the entire STFU issue will come up & it WON'T be trippin the right trigger then!!
;)

You're probably right, but our relationship has already been through hard times (and that's not including the two of our first three years we were separated by the Atlantic Ocean and endless miles of hot sand).
What I discovered was that her attraction for me was slowly being sapped because I was too nice, too considerate, too polite, putting her desires too much before my own.
Once I got more assertive, demanding, and yes, selfish, WOW!
She's way more attracted to me now after five years of marriage than she was when we met, and that's saying a lot.

The dumbest thing I've done????

A couple of years ago my daughter was in the pub near to where we lived with her friend.

I got to 11PM and my wife asked me to ring her to ask when she'd be home.

I did, and she said she was having her last drink and would be home in about 15 minutes.
So I told the wife.

Well I'd had a few gin and tonics by then so when she asked me 10 minutes later to ring her again to check she was coming home I said the immortal words......

"Get off your fat arse and ring her your fecking self!!"

Let me tell you Christmas morning was far less fun than a barrel of frogs!!!

Here's a real brain teaser my wife sent me via a forwarded e-mail.

Personally, I think it lacks her usual subtlety.

"dfosterf"

I love it!
+1

And +1 for the lovely Mrs. Foster.

"Nonstopdrivel"

"dfosterf"

I love it!
+1

And +1 for the lovely Mrs. Foster.

I like this one better.